How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i think i have two assholes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
