we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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