Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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