my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
