I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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