Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So many bounce houses so little time
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He did a backflip because drugs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
