If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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