I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize