OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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