I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
