Barsexuality is the new black.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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