She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
