new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
