I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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