Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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