My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
