Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
