Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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