I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
