Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize