i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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