Where is the hickey?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
