We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
