i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
