eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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