Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
