he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
