Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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