I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
