That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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