dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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