12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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