Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
