Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
