That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
someone owes me an orgasm
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i've created a new STD.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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