i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
