hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
