"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
