If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
