ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
