I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
