I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
