Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I intend to get homeless drunk
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
