Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
