Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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