What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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