I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
