ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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