We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
