My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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