It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
