You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
