I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
