Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
