non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
