when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
