I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
