what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
