It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
this hospital has no fireball
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
