Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
