i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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