I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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